Having An NBA Star Dad Didn’t Shield Me From Trauma

My dad is the shortest player ever drafted into the NBA the year I was born: 1987. Tyrone Bogues had been a star at Wake Forest University before joining the NBA Charlotte Hornets. The nation knew him as “Muggsy” or one of the stars of “Space Jam.” I just knew him as my dad. But even an NBA star dad couldn’t shield me from trauma.

People who don’t know me well have said, “Your life is perfect. What could you possibly complain about?” They may equate my dad’s fame with his kids getting to lead the easy life.I wonder what people would say if they knew at one point I feared for my life. My ex-boyfriend had choked me. He admired me, always said and did the right things so I didn’t think it was possible, but he did it and I had to leave. Did you know that 1 in 3 women will be a victim of domestic abuse in her lifetime? Every day, in the U.S. at least three women are murdered due to domestic violence. Every 90 seconds, a woman is being abused.

I still deal with the effects of that 2007 trauma today.

Did I immediately come forward and tell my parents? No, I was worried about protecting them from my terror. I was worried about what people would think, which happens in most domestic violence cases. But I also worried about what this could do to my father’s image. I kept silent for over a decade until finally opening up. My parents were hurt at first to hear the news, because we’re close, but with time they understood and are very supportive.

Speaking up has led me to want to help other abused women escape their abusers.  So, I’ve been fundraising and creating awareness with Safe Alliance, a Charlotte, N.C. nonprofit that serves victims of domestic and sexual violence. That work has opened my eyes to the epidemic – and that is not too strong a word – of domestic violence. It has brought me peace to know it wasn’t my fault. In fact, domestic violence is never, ever the victim’s fault.

Click here to learn more about Brittney Bogues’ story

Transcendent Media Capital 

At TMC, our vision is to create a safe place where people can use story-telling to heal conflict and contribute to productive problem-solving globally. One of our current main projects is a global domestic violence campaign.  Free Yourself Global: Healing Families; Ending Domestic Violence is the  largest story curating exercise of its kind: recording of stories from recovered abusers, victims and specialists working in the field including NGO’s, psychologists, law enforcers and policy makers to name a few. This campaign explores the enculturation of violence through families over generations, and how does one, whether the abuser or the abused, interrupt the pattern of violence? This for-profit campaign will contribute over half the proceeds directly to our affiliate organizations combating this pandemic and supporting victims and recovering abusers. We also aim to connect these groups to share resources, tools, ideas, and collaborate. Currently organizations from over 68 countries around the world have officiated their support of Free Yourself.

Share your story of domestic violence with us today via social media using the hashtag #FreeYourselfGlobal or submit it to us anonymously via our website freeyourselfglobal.com.  For more information on how to become involved in this breakthrough campaign, email info@freeyourselfglobal.com

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